October 12: I Hate Peeing As A Guy

You know, sometimes I hate peeing standing up.
Cause I have to look down so that I dont miss the toilet.
But I feel odd staring at my wang.
If I sit down, then I feel like a girl.
Especially if a guy needs to take a poop,
Then im taking up a stall when I just need to pee.
So here I am, peeing in a urinal, trying not to talk to anyone,
Because that's the guys code of bathrooms,
Trying not to stare at my wang, or someone elses wang,
And then someone in the stall nearby farts.
It's really hard NOT to laugh when I'm concentrating so hard.
So im sitting here, staring at the wall,
Trying to hold in the laughter,
Which is cutting off the pee,
Which just makes the time I have to stare at the wall even longer.
So now there's this uncomfortable silence.
And an uncomfortable silence.
Trying to pee.
With some redneck next to me that I know is checking out my wang.
But I can't look at him to check because if he's not then I'm the one checking out his wang.
So I finally get done, I zip up my pants, and wash my hands.
I splash some water on my jeans!
So when I come out,
People think, "Christ! He just pissed himself. Couldn't he have just use the urinal like everyone else?"
I really hate peeing standing up.
-The End